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Why buy a Vita?

You’ve been planning that murder for a while now, and the only thing holding you back is working out how to make that insanity plea work. You’ve tried listening to Mumford Sons and being a Liverpool fan, but, for some reason, everyone still thinks you’re sane. When you buy a Playstation Vita there will be no doubts that you are completely bonkers.


The screen, like most screens, is reflective and so you can see your beautiful, chiselled face in it. Oh no wait. That’s just my face. You’d want to avoid looking at your own face as much as possible.


Touch screens are the only way you can feel anything anymore.


Chie can kick a tank into space.


The power cord could probably work as a noose to end your horrible, worthless existence.


Chie can kick a tank into space.


There are two analog sticks. TWO.  That’s twice as many as one. Handhelds are finally up to date with the beginning of this millennium.




I wish Chie would kick you into space.


About ryanry

I'm going to intermittently write things. They probably won't be very good.

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